


Words Break Hearts Not Bones

by Neko_Airie



Series: Rarities come in Handy [28]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Athos is an Ass, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 09:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6046708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neko_Airie/pseuds/Neko_Airie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Athos realises how close he had let d'Artangan, it's his inability to have a conversation about his problems that causes his biggest problem yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1 - The Problem

**Author's Note:**

> This was intended to be a one shot as always but it was just getting to big. It's going to be two shot now.

d’Artangan was chatting amiably with one of the stable hands that he quite liked. A young man by the name of Mark that had no aspirations of becoming a musketeer, he and his small daemon a chihuahua. The pair spent the day helping the musketeers around the garrison. d’Artangan could see himself in him as a younger man and really did like the boy. He was explaining that for the next week any mail that was for him that was sent to the garrison for him would have to be redressed and sent to his estate in Lorrie. He was due to head up and spend the week dealing with any matters that had come up during his absence. He had intended to invite Athos to join him but recently the other man had been awfully tense and edgy ever since the incident with Aramis and Evette. Every time he tried to talk to the other man he would get one word answers and then silence. He wasn’t even coming to bed any more, had taken to sleeping on the chaise that was in the living room. Even Porthos and Aramis had noticed the change in the pair. d’Artangan clap the young man on the shoulder before turning and heading into the main garrison.

Aramis and Porthos were chatting sat at the table drinking, Adylnn and Evette chattering quietly on the floor. Athos was sat quietly brooding in the corner quietly drinking from a goblet although it was unfermented grape juice. Bijou was sat on the top of the garrison office making it perfectly clear that she was being anti social. Aramis nudged Porthos during a break in their conversation and nodded towards Athos. Porthos looked at the brooding man and shrugged in a ‘what-do-you-expect-me-to-do’ way. Aramis rolled his eyes and huffed quietly, Evette hopped up on the table and moved to sit in front of Athos, Aramis done the same moving to the seat across from Athos. Athos lifted his head, eyes clearly telling Aramis exactly where he could shove his noble intentions. Aramis leant back and raised his hands in surrender before standing and heading back to his seat next to Porthos, Evette jumping down off the table and moving to sir next to Adelynn again. Porthos raised and eyebrows and mouthed ‘I told you so’ to him before downing the rest of his drink. Anything that Aramis was going to do in reply was cut off by the arrival of d’Artangan and Anumpama.

d’Artangan slipped down onto the bench across from Athos, Anu taking up residence on the dust floor as she always did and started to clean her coat. “Morning” He greeted them all happily. Aramis nodded to him and raised a goblet and Porthos gave him large toothy grin and rumbled “Morning.” Back. Athos deigned not to reply at all or even look up from his drink. d’Artangan frowned and looked at his soul bound lover. “Athos? You alright?” He asked concerned about the mans continued bad mood. Athos grunted something unintelligible. d’Artangan looked down at Anumpama so see if she could get anything out of Bijou but the massive tiger only nodded her head upwards directing his gaze to the location of the avian daemon. d’Artangans frown deepened and he swallowed. “Athos? Please. I’m going away tomorrow morning, I don’t want to leave you like this. It would worry me. Tell me whats on your mind.” He spoke imploringly as Anumpama butted her head against his thigh. 

He got more than he bargained for when Athos seemed to explode. He pushed Anu’s head away violently as he stood. The tiger tipped to the side, stumbling at the unexpected movement and d’Artangan stood up as well only to avoid the flying goblet. “Athos!” He yelled as he wrapped his fingers in Anus fur. “What the hell!” The worry quickly melted away as anger and confusion took over. Aramis and Porthos were also on their feet standing next to d’Artangan with looks of shock on their faces. Evette and Adelynn crowding around Anu and chittering to her quietly, she nuzzled them back reassuring them that she was okay. “Well?” d’Artangan asked wanting a good answer now. Athos was looking at the ground and shaking his head as took deep breaths, he was mumbling angrily between breaths. 

Finally he looked up, eyes raging. “I want you to know something. I havn’t taken a drink today, not since I promised you I wouldn’t. I am stone cold sober and I want you to know that. To know that I mean every word that I say.” d’Artangan frowned. “What?….why would I need to know that-” He questioned but was cut off when Athos started to talk. “You know something…I preferred you when were just a simple little farm boy. You know that. Simple little d’Artangan that was just glad to be a musketeer and have friends.” This was just the start to Athos tirade. “Now you have all this money all, status.” He practically hissed the words. “People faun over you, look up to you for what. Not the person you are. No! It’s what you have that get them going. Your exotic and interesting, a massive daemon that you can barely keep control of and now there is you story of the sudden rise to noble power. One more thing that makes you interesting. But…” He paused and took a few steps forwards. “But…What if they knew everything about you. About your wild side..wild is right your an animal you know that.” d’Artangan took a step back, he had hit a nerve. “Then theres your hero complex. If that isn’t a streak a mile and a half wide.” He said with a angry smile. “Just can’t help yourself can you. Got to save everyone, everything haven’t you.” He laughed low and deranged now. “Your worried about me you say! Worried! Your only worried when it suites you.” d’Artangan blinked..what? This had taken a very odd turn. “I’ve worried about you for since the day that I met you, worried when you went on your first mission and worried when you went missing but you knew that. You knew that I worried about you but that never occurred to you did it. You throw yourself into situations that are unwarranted and unseeded just to feed your screwed sense of being a hero and you know what. I can’t take it any more!” He screamed the last bit at d’Aartangan so loud that even Anumpama dropped her head to cover her ears. “Every time you put your self in these situations I wonder if you going to die and it makes my heart drop. Seeing you covered in blood makes me wonder if I am going to loose you this time. I have never once complained about your commission to the musketeers.” He was still yelling. “That river was the a last straw.” d’Artangan felt anger course through him in return at the last statement. “Your angry that I save Evette! That I saved your brother in arms daemon before she was smashed against rocks that killed her.” He felt a righteous anger run through him. “You know what, thats arrogant and selfish and you know it.” His voice was low and rumbled angrily. “You would rather that she and Aramis perish because I decided that it was just too cold and I didn’t want a few cuts.” Honestly the cuts were bad and he still had stitches in three of the ones on his back but that didn’t matter. “I am glad that I dived in that river. Happy that I bled because I still have my brother in everything but blood still with me so you can shove you high and mighty self sacrificing streak up you behind. I never go into a situation with out calculating the risk if I can help it.” He was seething now. Athos looked up and glared at him. Bijou finally decided to come down off her perch and join Athos in this fight. “We trusted you! We let ourselves open up to you and you throw it back at us like this. We trusted you.” Her screeching was ear piercing and made them cringe. “So you can just piss off to your estate, go play a noble boy.” She screeched. d’Artangan blinked. “Really, you want me to piss off. Want me to go and leave you to happy little life of booze and self destruction. Because that is what your going to return to.” He hissed at the other musketeer. “Just piss off. I don’t want to see you again.” Athos hissed this time. d’Artangan scowled and turned on his heel. He picked at the buckle of his musketeer shoulder patch and tore it off dropping it on the floor and stalking out the garrison. His heart and head was pounding as he stalked to Mark and asked that his horse be made up and packed with supplies for his trip. Anumpama stalked backwards and forwards as they waited growling quietly, d’Artangan was doing his best not to lash out and hit something hard.

Aramis and Porthos was just left staring as d’Artangan stalked off and the way that he was walking it could have been the last time that he did walk out ever. Aramis frowned and searched for something to say but he couldn’t, Athos had effectively declared that he would prefered that Evette die than d’Artangan rescue her. Adelynn had moved forwards and taken d’Artangan musketeer sigil into her mouth and carried it to Porthos who took it and brushed it off before slipping it in the bag that hung at his hip. Athos had collapsed back onto the bench and was just staring at the wood grain on the surface, Bijou had returned to her perch at the top of the office and was preening her feathers in angry motions. Aramis rubbed the bridge of his nose and swallowed. “Go after the kid. He’s probably going to be heading out early” He said quietly after a few moments. “Don’t you want to… I mean after what Athos said” Porthos mumbled. Aramis shook his head. “d’Artangan is going to need someone that is not going to remind him of this. And I want to have a chat to Athos, he seems to be under the impression that he can say what he pleases about anyone he wants and it’s just going effect them and no one else. This angry self destruction needs to end” Aramis replied. “Anyway. He’s probably going to drink himself into stupor today. Make sure that you take care of the stitches on d’Artangans back.” He said that last part as a parting comment as he walked over to the table and just sat across from the other musketeer.

Porthos and Adelynn gave a few last looks to the other pair before heading out of the Garrison and following d’Artangan. He could tell instantly that the younger mans horse was gone and got his saddled to leave. He knew that d’Artangan would have a fair head start on him but the kid would undoubtedly be riding his horse hard and would need to stop sooner. True that the estate was only a few days east of Paris and that was at a calm pace but there was no way that d’Artangan could make it in one night. While his horse was being saddled he quickly packed a large set of saddle bags before returning to the stabled and mounting the large black stallion. Porthos and Adelynn rode through Paris streets eventually getting to the clear open country rode that led to Lorri. When the road was empty Porthos decided to talk with Adelynn. “Do you think they can come back from this?” He asked quietly. He hated to his family at odds like this and it seemed like Athos had an aversion to actually talking about his problems and just liked to make massive scenes out of everything. Adelynn shrugged as she strode at the side of the horse. “I don’t know to be honest. Athos was quiet cruel and said things that I don’t think d’Artangan is going to forgive easily if at all.” She replied honestly and sighed as they moved. “Even if d’Artangan does forgive I don’t think Anu will.” She added as she looked up at the mid day sun and sighed.

Aramis and Evette hadn’t moved after Porthos had left, they just sat across from Athos and watched him. No one who had heard the yelling dared come near to the pair and as such even those that hadn’t heard it were warned. It had been about an hour and Athos hadn’t lifted his head from its hung position. Finally he stirred, a hitch in his breath and jump in his tense posture to a relaxed heap that now leant on the table for support. “You done brooding like some teenage court daughter thats been band from her lover.” Aramis asked, even with the joke his tone was sharp and angry. Athos looked up, his eyes was red rimmed and he looked washed out and exhausted. “Wha..” He asked but was silenced by a glare from Aramis. “To be honest I don’t know why I am sat here. I shouldn’t be. I know that much. I should be with Porthos, following d’Artangan to make sure that after this week he does come back.” He said a calm anger exuding from his body. “But I am sat here and so you are going to listen to every word I say. That hissy fit that you just threw was rude, uncalled for and childish.” Athos turned his head away and made to stand up. Aramis slammed his hand down heard on the table with a crash. “Sit down.” His voice was deadly calm and dripped with surpassed rage. Athos blinked at him and returned to his seat, keeping his eyes down. “Good. Now your going to listen and not interrupt.” He waited until Athos nodded his agreement, even Bijou glided down to sit on her humans shoulder. Evette snapped at her, not even close to her really but it was enough to make her flinch. “Glad I have your attention. You are a great man Athos, A great musketeer. There are many things that make you such but then some of your traits and assets make you and absolute ass and quiet frankly after that display I don’t particularly relish calling you my brother.” He paused to take a drink. “At any point during your relationship with d’Artangan you could have raised your concern about his tendency for dangerous situations. Talk to him like a civil human but no you had to be the animal that you called him and scream to the heavens that dear Athos fragile heart can’t take any more. Bullshit!” He hissed the last word. “What you can’t take is accepting that d’Artangan is just as much a musketeer as you and enjoys the life. In the recent months he has opened up more. Become more and more out brother and had taken to his commission like a duck to water and you are intent on destroying it. He stood by you through everything, even the drunken beatings that you gave him.” He deliberately reminded Athos of the situation wanting the man to see the course of action that had lead them there. “If he had done what you wanted and left the danger he would never have continued to be anywhere near you. He has supported you and helped you. Hell, his first appearance in out lives ended up helping you because we knew exactly where to look when you were jailed. He saved you then and he’s saved you since and your and your reaction is to put him down. Call him an animal and to be derogatory about his success in life. I half want him to stay away from you because like this you are poison.” It was harsh, it needed to be said though. Athos needed a bit of his own medicine. “You can’t push people away just because your scared of getting hurt, because your worried that maybe you won’t have them all that long. While guess what. We all die! Your hear me. We all die, is not today maybe tomorrow or a week from now but we do die, and should take the time we have bringing people close, not throwing them as far away as possible because we are scared of getting hurt.” Aramis finished and stood heading to his own room in the barracks. “I suggest you really think about what your angry about and weather what you said was as true as you claimed because I don’t think it is” He said as a parting shot. 

 

d’Artangan, as predicted has pushed the horse hard and fast down the country roads and as predicted he come to a stop sooner that he had wanted. He would make his estate late the next day his he rested now. He had stopped by a small group of shaded trees and led his horse out of sight. It was now that he realised that he had no blankets and no tinder box. Nothing to keep warm with tonight. “Sorry Anu.” d’Artangan said quietly as he sat on a patch of grass and started to shiver in the light early breeze. Dressed only in a thin shirt and light leathers there was no protection from the air of the night that was soon come over him. Anu nudge as his arm and shook her head. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to forget. Here, lay back.” She lay back on her side and d’Artangan curled up into her thick fur and relished the warmth that if offered him. “Are you going to eat?” She asked quiet after a few moments of silent contemplation. He shook his head. “Not hungry.” He replied quietly before closing his eyes and trying to forget that his soul bonded, the one that he was supposed to be connect with like nothing before or ever again had screamed such horrid things at him. Anu let out a breath and brought her thick tail round to cover him a little.

It was hours later when Porthos finally caught up with the pair, Adelynn gave a triumphant yip when she finally caught the scent he recognised. Porthos dismounted and led the horse by the reins to the side of the rode following Adelynn and her scent trail through the trees till he came to a small clearing and found the pair. He sighed when he saw the poorly dressed and supplied young man and daemon. Adelynn had already trotted over to Anu and was lead down by her head, she opened her eyes when she realised that someone where there. “Hello Adelynn, Porthos.” He murmured to them, not moving so a to not wake d’Artangan. Adelynn nuzzled at her nose with her own. “Hello Annie.” She let our a dog like laugh, Anu smiled. Adelynn was the only one who ever called her Annie. “Porthos do you have any extra…” She trailed off when Porthos turned around with a large blanket and a small tinder box clutched in his hands. She shut her mouth smiled. “Thank you.” She murmured when Porthos covered d’Artangan with the blanket and the gathered a few sticks dry enough to create a fire. “Has he eaten” He asked quietly. “No, said he wasn’t hungry.” She replied tugging at one corner of the blanket with her mouth when d’Artangan shifted. Porthos nodded and set about making a small meal from some of the supplies. “Aramis stayed with Athos back at the barracks.” Porthos in formed after a few minuets of quiet. Anu made a small noise somewhere between a growl and a hiss. “Okay, I’ll not talk about him again.” Porthos conceded. Anu seemed to collapse in on herself. “No, it’s okay. It’s just…some of the things he said. They hurt a lot and we wonder how long he has been feeling like that. Why he didn’t talk to us, so that we could work it out before it got like this. I thought that after we agreed to stay by him after the drink and the beating that he would understand that he could talk to us about anything but apparently not.” It felt good to the giant tiger to be able to talk to someone. Even if she wasn’t supposed to talk to human in polite society and she sometimes did, she always spoke directly to her musketeer brothers and sister daemons. Porthos looked over at her when she was speaking, it had become natural to talk to the tiger. “Athos is a complicated man, there are so many walls between him and the outside world that I am constantly surprised by how deep me and Aramis got, but you, you got so deep that…I think that it scared him. He noticed that there was no more wall between you and him.” Porthos hesitated at a guess, “He probably realised when you were in that river and there was a good chance that he could loose you forever. I mean sure you’ve been injured and there was the separation with Anu but during those times there was something that he could do. Something to fix it but in that river he couldn’t do anything but ride and yell. I think that scared him more than the idea that he might loose you.” Porthos spoke while stirring the pot that he had hung over fire to cook in. “What he said was still wrong and god knows I don’t expect you or d’Artangan to forgive him any time soon but I think there is more to this than a simple issue with d’Artangan risking his life for his commission.” Porthos shrugged after that and started to make up two bowls with the broth that he had made. “Do you want to wake him?” He asked once he was done. Anu nodded and moved her tail so that it was gentle prodding d’Artangan awake. d’Artangan snuffled and batted a hand at the tail that was waking him. “Anu?” He questions sitting up and rubbing at his face. “What?” Anu rolled her eyes and once she was sure d’Artangan was sitting up. Stretching like the cat she was she spoke. “For a trained musketeer you are rather unobservant. Porthos is here and he made food. Eat.” She nudged the bowl towards him and dropped a spoon into it with her great jaws. d’Artangan frowned and then looked around. “Oh…Porthos. Hello.” He murmured when his eyes meet Porthos. He picks up the bowl and starts to eat. Humming at the taste. “Thanks.” Porthos gives one of his toothy smiles. “No problem.” He stats before falling into quiet companionship. They finished eating and Porthos grabs more blankets from his overfilled saddled bags and makes up a bedroll for himself before laying out. “Night kid.” He says quietly before rolling over.

Aramis watches Athos at a distance all night, keeping an eye on him as he leaves the garrison and heads to the nearest tavern. What ever d’Artangan had said in anger he was right. Athos order two bottles of wine and found a dark corner to sit in before opening the first. Aramis let him get a fair way into the bottle before heading to the bar. He flags down a the bartender. The large man recognises the musketeer, a favourite of his girls. “Mr Aramis Sir, what can I do for you? Your brother in arms has already come in.” Aramis nods. “It is my brother in arms that I wish to talk about. I need you keep him from any more wine. I’ll pay you handsomely for this service. If possible water down anything else he orders, enough that you would give it to a child.” Aramis explains pulling a a few gold coins from his purse. The bartender looks down at them and shakes his head. “No charge necessary, after the second bottle he drinks down I can guarantee he won’t notice water down wine. Heard that he got in some trouble with the stuff a while back. Hate to see a good man like him slip back into drink.” Aramis took all but a few coins back. “For you kindness then. Thank you. Ill take a plate of bread and cheese.” He ordered after a moment and picked the opposite corner from Athos. In his state the musketeer was never going to notice him and Bijou was perched on the table chittering and never looking away from Athos so there was no risk of that. Evette curled on Aramis lap and rested her head on the table as they watched. “Why are we here Aramis? After what he done?” She was confused and got the feeling that Aramis was too. He looked down at her and scratched behind here ear. “I’m not sure really, I feel a little responsible. I mean it was us d’Artangan tried to save and ended up in that river. Then there was the things he said, we should have intervened when we could to try and sort this out. I also still feel a brother hood with the man. We all know that Athos has issues and they never bothered us before. We will try and work through this like we always have but…if we can’t then we have a choice to make. A harsh choice.” He shook his head, not wanting to think that far and darkly. He tickled her light and smiled when she let out her foxy laugh. 

Three and a half hours later and three more watered down bottles of wine and Athos was falling asleep at the table. He knocked the bottle he had been holding over and the dregs trickled to the floor. Aramis nodded to himself and stood, weaving through the humans and daemoms he headed towards the man. Evette hated tavern floors and as such was in her satchel on Aramis hips. “Right, time for you to go home.” He said to the tired man. Athos looked up and frowned. “‘Mis?” He questioned. Aramis rolled his eyes and nodded before swinging one of Athos arms over his shoulder. “Yes it’s Aramis.” He assured as he hauled the man up. Evette had bounded onto the table and dragged Bijou into the satchel before squeezing down beside the daemon and checking she was comfortable. “Ready” The small fox declared when she was sure. Aramis nodded and started the difficult task of getting Athos out of the tavern. 

Once outside Aramis took a moment to get a breath of air that wasn’t just booze before carrying on his trek towards Athos and d’Artangans rooms. At least he hoped they were still Athos and d’Artangan. He sighed and turned his mind away from that. Huffing at the effort Aramis was just turning a corner when Athos started to mumbled and talk in his haze. “Didn’t want to say those things…..cruel things…angry at…” Aramis paused and sat Athos on a crate to listen. “Angry…doesn’t think about….his own life.” A pause and shaking of the head. “Scared….to death….too….scared….couldn’t….help. What I…would…loose..too…much….let….in….too….deep.” Aramis scrubbed a hand over his face. God, this just got a whole lot more complicated. Athos had fallen quiet again and Aramis took that as a signal to continue the trek home. He grunted as he lifted Athos again. “Why can’t you have a normal conversation to work out issues like a normal human.” He said almost to the air as he finally reached the man home and dragged him to bed.

Porthos was up before d’Artangan and had reheated the broth from the night before for breakfast but and added some more herbs and spices. “Morning Kid” He greeted d’Artangan woke and got up and headed to a small stream to wash his face. “Morning…Uh…” d’Artangan felt kind of awkward given his appearance last night and the yelling match. “Calm down kid, breakfast first then we can start the ride again to Lorri.” Porthos said wanting to relax d’Artangan. d’Artangans tense shoulders slip into a slump and he sat cross legged on the forest floor and dished himself a bowl of the broth. “Thanks. Porthos.” He murmured as he ate. “No problem kid.” He said as he started clear up having eaten as before d’Artangan has risen. 

Once the camp was broken down and cleared away they mounted up again. The road was clear and quiet as the horses trotted with daemons at their feet. A few hours into the ride d’Artangan spoke finally. “What happened after I left?” He asked wondering if he wanted to know the answer. “Not much. Aramis decided to stay with Athos and keep him out of trouble and I packed and came to find you to keep you out of trouble.” d’Artangan nodded. “Good, glad someone is taking care of him. I didn’t mean what I said yesterday. I was just so upset about what he was saying.” d’Artangan admitted. “What he said, it hurt. I mean after everything that I have been through over the time of my commission his words hurt more.” He could feel anger rising again that Athos could deliberately say that to him. “And it was clear that he defiantly wanted me to know that head meant what he said.” He added after a few moments. Porthos listened and tried to think of something to say. He wasn’t exactly great at these word bases things, he was more hit it till it worked. “d’Artangan. I…I done thing that Athos really did mean what he said. I think there was more to it.” d’Artangan nodded. “I know, Anumpama told me when I woke. I just wish that it made a bit more of a difference to me at the moment.” He admitted to the larger man. Porthos couldn’t say anything in reply to that so he fell back into quiet. He was glad that d’Artangans estate close to the broader and that they would be reaching it soon. Even Adelynn was dong her best to stay quiet and out of the way.

Aramis had stayed on in the apartment by in the living room and sleeping on the chaise, he woke easily the he heard the sounds of Athos waking and stumbling through the apartments. Aramis stood and headed into the bedroom with a goblet of water. “Here, Drink” He said trusting the goblet out to the hung over man. Athos took it. “Thanks.” He said feeling a little ashamed, d’Artangan had been right about the drink and after so many months sober and then a night drinking the hang over was more punishment than Aramis could ever give. Aramis nodded and waited for him to drink it before taking the goblet back. “Do you remember everything from yesterday.” Athos nodded then regretted the action. “Yes. I remember….everything. Everything I did nd everything I said.” He replied heading over to the bed to check that Bijou was okay. The bird was hopping around feeling the same hang over the Athos did. “I…I regret it all. Wish that I had never said any of it.” He murmured. “Well to late for that.” Aramis stated bluntly and then raised an eye brow. “What are you going to do. ‘Cause me and Porthos are not going to fix this. You were and ass yesterday and I wouldn’t blame d’Artangan if he never forgave you for what you said. And before you ask Porthos is with d’Artangan.” Athos shut his mouth his question cut off before he could even start. With nothing to ask he collapsed into a chair and put his head in his hands. “I don’t know really. To be honest I wouldn’t blame d’Artangan if he never wants to speak to me again. I don’t know what to say or do..” Aramis turned to the door. “You have a week to work it out maximum before d’Artangan has to make the choice whether he is coming back or not. An unless you do something I don’t think he will. And for that I will never forgive you.” He said those parting words before shutting the door to Athos apartments and heading down stairs and starting towards the barack for morning drill. 

It was early afternoon when Porthos finally caught sight of the first farm on the side of the road that was officially on d’Artangans land. It was a clear signal that they were about three hours from the main estate. He sighed and thanks the heavens, the ride had been quiet and tense. Porthos hadn’t even considered mention the shoulder pad with the musketeers sigil on it to the younger man for fear of wrecking the careful balance that he seemed to be keeping up. It seemed though that d’Artangan wanted to be at his estate sooner though for once he saw the farm he kicked his horse into hard and fast clip with Anu streaking at his side that left Porthos in the dust quicker than he would like. He spurred his own horse of and followed, Adelynn actually enjoying the sudden burst of speed. He caught up with d’Artangan and stayed in close behind him for the rest of the journey. The journey now being a mere hour and half before they pounded up the long drive and came to a stop outside the grand manor that was d’Artangan estate home.

There was a fumble of action at the door and a stable hands came rushing forwards to take the horses. The house steward quickly jogged down the steps his small buzzing humming bird flitting about him. “My Lord. Apologies, we were not expecting you till tomorrow at the earliest. I shall have the preparations sped up.” d’Artangan waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. Tis my fault I arrived earlier than planned. Don’t worry about hurrying everyone.” He had never wanted to be a hard lord and master and this endeared him towards the house hold staff and even seemed to make them want to work all that harder for him. Porthos joined d’Artangan at his side and greeted the steward. “Mr Porthos sir. Welcome. I shall have your room made up.” Porthos thanked him.

d’Artangan entered the house and headed straight for the study that he had claimed early on as a place where he wanted to pursue the matters of his Lordship and estate. Anu had a large cushioned bed by the desk that she could often be found lounging in when d’Artangan was in residence and a sofa that was usually occupied by the musketeers when they joined him. “Where is Jean? I would like to get straight on.” In truth he wanted to bury himself in work to the point that he couldn’t think about Athos and the fight. The steward blinked before nodding. “I shall have him and Ceylon found and directed to your study.” Jean was d’Artangans assistant as it were, he handled things that he could while d’Artangan was away. A small man with and pleasant rabbit daemon kept everything in order and informed d’Artangan when he would need to come personally to the estate to deal with matters. Porthos followed and greeted the people that he knew Adelynn doing much the same to the daemons that she recognised. 

Upon entering the study d’Artangan was almost pleased to see the large stack of paper work and even larger stack of missives that were coving his desk. If he hadn’t been intending to drown himself in the work he would have found the pile impossible to complete in a week and even though he was it was going to be a feat to complete. Anu was quickly to stride into the study and let out a rumbling purr at the large bed for her that was next to the desk and close to the fire. She was soon lounging out on it and was flicking her tail, the only sign of the emotional conflict that d’Artangan was feeling. Porthos and Adelynn had headed for the sofa, Adelynn hopping up and settling comfortably. Porthos head to a book case first. He scanned the tomes and smiled when he found a novel that he had been reading in sections while he was hear. Slipping it off the shelf he settled on the sofa and opened it to start reading. Contrary to what people thought of him he did love a good novel.

d’Artangan passed Porthos and sat at the desk, he gave a quick shuffle through the documents and then set about reading the top missive. It felt oddly relaxing to settle into work that wasn’t anything todo with the musketeers or Athos. It was boring and mundane work but it occupied his mind and would for a great many hours of his week. Soon there was a knock at the door and a small balding man stepped in carrying a rabbit and was instantly recognisable as the ever dependable Jean. “My lord.” He gave a token bow before heading to the side of the desk and setting Ceylon down on a small cushion. “I see you have already started.” He murmured in approval, sometime it was impossible to get d’Artangan to do any work. “Yes. I wish get through all this.” He gestured to the desk. “That my lord will take a great amount of tim-“ “I will do it.” d’Artangan asserted before the other man could finish. “Very good My Lord” He conceded before starting to inform d’Artangan of what he needed to know about each missive.

That was how the week started and how it continued. It worried Porthos the way that d’Artangan had buried himself in the mountain of paper work. He would rise before breakfast and head to the study, take breakfast there and then continue the work before taking dinner with Porthos and hardly saying a word before returning to the study for the afternoon. A small evening meal would be rushed through before he once again returned to the study and there he would work until Porthos arrived by candle light to carry the sleeping d’Artangan to his chambers where the entire process would start over again. Porthos had originally tried talking to d’Artangan during meals about Athos and how he was worried about the amount of work he was doing but that only succeeded in driving d’Artangan back to his study having eaten less food and working twice as hard. Porthos was at a loss.


	2. Part 2 - The Solution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was surprisingly hard to write, I am not entirely happy with the way that it is but I can't seem to get it right. Might re-write at a later date.

Porthos wandered through the great hall of d’Artangans estate and smiled to himself, the young man had yet to hold a ball and he doubted that until the king requested one he would. d’Artangan barely used a fraction of the house, a few rooms where kept ready for him and the musketeers should they arrive unexpectedly but a lot of the grand rooms were covered in white sheets to protect the furniture from dust and sunlight. He would be leaving the next day to return to Paris and his duties as a musketeer, he had received a letter requesting his presence back at the Garrison. He was just on his way to tell d’Artangan and to hopefully encourage the younger man to return with him. Pushing the large door open and slipping through before holding it open for Adelynn to get though as well. 

d’Artangan had been working since the early hours of the morning, every morning, and it was finally starting to take it’s toll. Apparently there was a lot more energy involved in a completing a stack of paper work than he had expected. But it had served it’s purpose and drowned any thought of Athos and his life back in Paris from his mind, instead filling it with the mundane goings on of his estate and the surrounding land. He sat back in his chair and rubbed at the bridge his nose and then temple trying to fend off the impending head ache that was starting to take over. He blinked and looked down when he felt a large furry head brushing and nudging his hand. “Anu…?” He asked quietly, even his own voice was grating. “d’Artangan, you need to stop this. You need to rest.” She employed quietly her own head hurting in proxy of her humans. He sighed and gave a slight shake of the head. “I can’t, when I am not working I keep thinking about…about Athos.” He leant forwards and picked up the quill again only to fumble and drop it and curse quietly. “See, you need to rest.” Anu said picking up the quill with her mouth and placing it back on the desk. d’Artangan looked down at her. “I just don’t want to think about it.” He said quietly. Anu sighed sadly. “I know you don’t but your going to have to eventually. Our week here is nearly up and we have to make a choice if we want to go back or not.” She said quietly, not wanting to push d’Artangan into making a choice because she could actually feel the emotional pain and the physical that came with it. “We need to make this choice.” She added after a second. 

Porthos was leaning close to the door listening to the conversation between daemon and human, he knew that he shouldn’t but what he was hearing was worrying and made him shiver a little. When he heard the conversation end he finally knocked on the door before slipping in and smiling to the young man. “I got a letter from the captain. I am needed back at the garrison. I should be heading out tomorrow morning.” He opened with a toothy grin wanting to lighten the kids mood a little. “Oh…right. I’ll make sure the Jean knows to have your horse prepared.” He said quietly, he would be alone in this big house. Porthos slipped into the seat across from d’Artangan, he pulled out the shoulder pad from the bag on his hip and placed it on the desk. “I was hoping that you would come back with me” He said quietly and pushed it towards d’Artangan. He looked down at his armour and picked it up, running his fingers over the sigil embossed on the round of it. “I don’t know if I can go back. Not to see him there and know that I made him that angry. I hurt Porthos, I hurt in ways that I didn’t think that I could hurt.” He admitted to the larger man. “We are always told that ‘sticks and stones with break my bones by words will never hurt me.’ Thats wrong, I think that over my life I have broken most of the bones in my body but eventually they stop hurting and heal, this feels like it will never go away.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair and looked up at Porthos. Porthos swallowed hard, there was something in d’Artangans eyes that was frankly exhausting and heart breaking to look at. “d’Artangan, I am sure that Aramis talked to him. That he regrets what he said. I am sure that if you come back he will tell you why.” He didn’t feel like he was talking the whole truth, actually he knew that he was talking a load of crap.

d’Artangan looked up at Porthos, he would give the man credit for trying but even in his exhausted state he could see that the larger man knew he was talking out his ass. “And what about next time and the time after that when he decided that he can’t talk to me about something and gets scared. I know that doesn’t want to be like this and your right he probably regrets everything but I don’t think I can go back to that. I love him Porthos and in the time that I have known him he has changed so much and become a much better man and for that I know I am thankful. Athos has had so much hurt and bad in his life he doesn’t know what to do with anything good that comes into it.” He looked down again. “After he stopped the drink and he got sober he was so much happier. I knew then that a lot of what his personality was was just….cover up. But the man that is underneath I am not sure I can help him with that.” d’Artangan replied and stood. Porthos realised that there was nothing that he could say to that and stood trying one last time to appeal to the younger man. “d’Artangan. I know that he’s difficult and crap at being anything other soldier. But you love him and staying out here in this house is going to suffocate you. A week here and your already a wreck, have you looked in a mirror recently. I hate to say it but your not built for being a noble that sits on his ass all day signing documents. Yeah you manage one week every now but when you come back you grab the first mission that you can get your hands on and ride out. You are a musketeers through and through kid and you will never not be one. Ride out with me tomorrow. If in a week you and Athos can’t be in the same room together then you can do what you feel you can.” Porthos stood by the door now with Adelynn at his heals. “Anu, try and talk some sense in to him.” He said as he left.

Anu huffed and started to pace around the room. “You know he’s talking sense, I can feel that you know it.” She stated as she passed by the window. “He’s right, we are not built for this nobel life. Sure the money’s nice and food and clothes great but look at me d’Artangan. I am a White Bengal Tiger, that last thing I am built for is to sit around all day and look pretty. And trust me while I am very good and looking good I would prefer it not be my job.” She tried adding some levity to situation. d’Artangan couldn’t help but let out a huffed laugh. “You both have a point.” He conceded after moment. “But I don’t know if I can forgive him.” She raised one eyebrow. “Never said that you should forgive him, fact is if it were my choice he would have to be on his knees before I even considered letting him speak to me let alone touch me.” She said, tone betraying every inch of here regal attitude. d’Artangan looked at her. “No one has ever mentioned forgiving him, that all you. Doesn’t mean that we can’t give him the chance to prove that he does regret his actions.” d’Artangan stood and moved to join her at the window. “We are musketeers d’Artangan and if we let him stop us then we may as well have rolled over and presented out bellies to him.” She said quietly sounding more and more like a predator. d’Artangan felt a resolve rise in his chest, he would go back but he would make it clear to Athos he was not going to be forgiven.

The week that had passed since Aramis had carried him home has consisted of a few missions, a lot of being ignored and scowled at by other musketeers and a stern telling off from the Captain and Serge as will as continued lectures from Aramis. Currently he was running drills with some of the newer recruits that were being trained up in hopes of winning a commission at the next tournament. “Strike, Parry, Parry, counter and Strike.” He called the time for recruits as they moved, he was half watching half thinking about d’Artangan. He had yet to come up with anything meaningful that would show the man how much he had regretted what he said. Although Bijou has repeatedly told him that she was sure there was nothing they could actually do that mean anything other than a temporary reprieve. He had seen it a lot on the streets of Paris, in marriages. Women that would be yelled and hit by lovers and husbands only to leave but come back when they promised to change and gave a token gift. He was determined to not be like that. 

Bijou was sat on his shoulder watching the recruits and making a few comments ever now and again. “Maybe I should ask him what I should do, then I can’t get it wrong?” Athos suggest to the bird. Bijou made a sound that in a human would have been a snort. “He’s already angry enough as it is. I am sure that you bounding around his heal waiting for his next order is really going to endear us to them.” She said, her eyes never leaving the group of trainees. “Athos, face it. We are going to have to straight out apologies, explain ourselves and hope that he takes pity on us. We have royally screwed this up. This was our fault and we really couldn’t have handled our feelings any worse.” She paused. “That boy there is going to decapitate his opponent.” She murmured after a second. Athos turned quickly and spotted instantly that a rather enthusiastic boy that was swinging his sword wildly. Athos jumped in grabbing his arm before and accident happened. “Follow the pattern or your never going learn. Watch everyone else and be aware of your surroundings” He advised before leaving the boy again and returning to his conversation with Bijou. “Maybe I should wait, see what d’Artangan is like when he comes back.” He suggested. Bijou nodded. “If he comes back.” She added quietly after a moment. Athos was going to reply but he was quickly drawn to the drills as there was a yell of pain and all thoughts of his personal life was pressed from his mind.

Aramis had watched Athos all week, he had been the one that had told Treville what had happened and where Porthos had gone. The captain had grudgingly signed Porthos off a week of leave, only because he wanted to have his four best musketeers back together and working. He didn’t often admit it by they were his best and he was sure that if he lost one he would loose them all. Aramis was currently stood on the balcony over looking the training. Treville was stood next to him. “Do you think d’Artangan will come back. With his estate and position he really has no need to have a commission or the pay.” Treville asked with Tulsiol sat at his feel. Aramis sighed. “To be honest I really have no idea. If he does comeback then there will need to be reconciliation but in what form that would take I don’t know but if he chooses to stay away or, and I can’t believe I am saying this, join the red guard I don’t know what will happen. I couldn’t stay here, not knowing all that passed. I can’t speak for Porthos but Athos wouldn’t do well.” He spoke quietly. Treville looked round at him worry in his eyes. “Porthos will do what he can to bring him and Anu back.” He assured Treville.

Porthos had been informed that d’Artangan would not be taking evening meal in the usual manor as he was intending to work through the meal. He wasn’t exactly sure was to make of that, was it a signal that d’Artangan was intending to finish all the all the work before leaving or that Porthos words had actually had a negative effect and sent d’Artagan over the edge. He sat at the a the small table in his room, Adelynn was led on the bed panting on her side, tail thumping on cover. He ate slowly and felt an odd sense of worry in his heart as to the consequences of his actions. He had already packed the few belongs that he had had the time to grab before leaving Paris and was actually starting to feel twitchy and full or nervous energy. He pushed the plate away when he had had enough and stood. Looking at the clock on the wall he was almost happy to see that it was late evening and if he did go to bed now he might actually have a chance of sleeping through the night and not waking too early. Groaning he stripped down preferring to sleep in just a pair of trousers and nothing else. Adelynn shifted to one side of the bed and looked up at her human as he clambered into the bed. “He will come. He has to.” She said quietly and curled into his side dropping off to sleep with her human. Porthos nodded. “I hope so…” He breathed as he also fell asleep.

The next morning Porthos was once again given breakfast in his rooms, early and prompt as usual. When he attempted to ask the maid that had brought it any questions she just dipped into a curtsy and back out of the room her small mouse daemon on her shoulder hiding in her hair. Porthos looked worriedly at Adelynn and before he looked at the large hearty breakfast that would have usually had his mouth watering. This morning though he looked at it like it was going to rise up and attack him. “You better eat, we have a two day ride ahead of us” Adelynn murmured jumping down from the bed and padding across the room. She didn’t have an encouragement to offer her human this morning because she wasn’t sure that to make of anything. Porthos swallowed hard and nodded, sitting down he ate mechanically his mind more preoccupied by trying to come up with how to tell Aramis that d’Artangan wasn’t coming back. Eating the plate clean he stood and grabbed his saddle bags. He looked around the room and chewed on his lip, he was sure that if d’Artangan did stay here that he and Aramis would try to visit often but there was little in the way of certainty to that fact. After a moment he slipped out the room closing the door quietly and wandering through the halls towards the stables. 

Out in the stable he could see that his horse had already been saddled and tacked, she even appeared to have been re-shoed while he was here. d’Artangan must have ordered it he thought. He was just mounting up when d’Artangans large black station was being brought out of the stable, he was tacked and ready as well. He frowned and turned when he heard the clipping of a set of ribbing boots on the stone cobbles. d’Artangan was striding down the steps towards the stable, dressed in a pair of form fitting leggings and a fine quality shirr that was covered with a heavy duty but still elegant leather armour corset. His shoulder was adorned by his leather pad and musketeer sigil. Anumpama was at his side. Porthos raised an eyebrow. “Morning.” He said trying to hide the relief that had washed over him when he saw that d’Artangan was carrying a riding crop with him. “Morning Porthos. I see that you are ready to head out. Give me a second to just mount up and get comfortable and we will head out.” He assured the man. Porthos nodded and settled into the saddle to wait as d’Artangan checked the saddle bags and then mounted up himself. Porthos could see a new resolve in the young man and didn’t intend to question it worried that he may ruin it. d’Artangan took his stallion round the yard a few times to check his tack and stride. “Ready when you are.” He called as he started out a pleasant trot towards Paris. Porthos and Adelynn quickly kicked followed, Porthos nudging his mare into moment and catching up next to d’Artangan. “You decided to come back then?” He broached about three hours into the ride, the silence had been stifling to he honest. “I decided that some of what you saying was true and that I would never be able to be a sit around nobel. Anu done a lot of talking to.” He admitted. Porthos nodded and relaxed now that he was defiantly sure d’Artangan was coming back. 

The ride was smooth and uninterrupted through the day, they had briefly stopped for a small mid day meal on the side of the road. Anu had trotted down into a small stream to bath her paws, the road was hot in the sun and she enjoyed the feeling of the cool water. Unlike many other daemons that was no way that she could ride with her human, even Adelynn could ride on a small seat attached to the back of Porthos saddle but Anu was just far too big. d’Artangan watched her for a while before turning his attention back to Porthos. They had chatted amicably about nothing and everything, Porthos having the bright idea that d’Artangan should have a boxing ring put in one of the small dinning halls. d’Artangan just raised an eyebrow before bursting out laughing when he realised that Porthos was serious. They had soon carried on riding though, the evening cooling along with the road giving Anu a reprieve on her paws. It was late evening when they stopped, it was close to the same small areas of trees that they had stopped in before. d’Artangan gathered the fire wood and Porthos hunted for a rabbit or something to cook up, the larger man having always enjoyed the hunt and its fruits. They had eaten and were just laying back on the grass, Adelynn over he humans legs and Anu propping up d’Artangans back in a comfortable position. “What are you going to do about Athos?” Porthos asked quietly when he thought he could. d’Artangan looked over at him. “Honestly I am not that sure. I know that I am not going to forgive him quickly. He will have to work for that. I know that I am not going go back to the way that everything was, to much was said and too much has changed for that.” He voiced think it over and looking up at the sky. “I hurt me and as much as I feel sorry for him and understand where it all comes from. I have to look after myself in the end. I love him. I really am in love with him and it hurts to even think about not being with him but if he can’t communicate and want to work through things then we can’t be together.” He had thought long and hard about all of this the night before. He had led in bed running it over and over and talking with Anu before falling asleep. Porthos nodded, it was logical and reasonable. “If you can’t be together. Would you leave the musketeers?” He asked quietly. d’Artangan gave a lopsided smile. “Just because I can’t be in a relationship wth Athos doesn’t mean I’m going to abandon my family. I’ll stay and we will be the four inseparables just with few changes. I can’t speak for Athos though.” He spoked with a smile of hope. “I do hope that we would stay as a group but I would understand if you and Aramis wanted me to leave.” Porthos shot up and shook his head wildly. “Never!” He exclaimed and lay back. “Never. Aramis and I will stand by you and Athos if we can.” He said before relaxing. “I just wanted to know, thanks for telling me.” He murmured. d’Artangan grunted and told to his side. “Best get some sleep before the morning.” Porthos nodded and rolled over to get some sleep as well.

Aramis was woken next morning to hear the sound of a sword thumping into a training dummy just below the window of his rooms at the Garrison. He frowned in confusion and stood heading to see who was training, he carried a sleepy Evette in his arms. Looking down he was surprised to see Athos below, swinging a long sword at the dummy clearly working some energy out. Arabise dressed and headed down. “Athos?! What on earth are you doing out here this early.” He asked the man. Athos stopped his chest heaving with the exertion. “Nervous Energy, couldn’t sleep.” Aramis nodded. “Your do realise that they won’t even be close to the boarder of Paris for another five hours yet and thats even if they set out now. Have you eaten yet?” Athos shook his head. “Right, Serge should be just starting breakfast. Come one lets get you something to drink and a bucket of water. You stink.” Evette wrinkled her nose in agreement as she opened an eye before going back to sleep in Aramis arms. Athos slumped in acquiescence and followed, Bijou going down from her perch on the Garrison bell. 

Serge produced a bucket of water when asked and Aramis handed the metal handle to Athos. “Go douse yourself down, I will not sit to table with you while you smell like a stable in the midday sun.” He demanded and then headed back to the table and slid onto one of the benches. Athos groaned but moved away to do as he asked. Removing any of the thick leather that he could and placing it on a wooden strut he lifted the buck and poured the cold water over himself. It soaked him to the bone but was actually sort of soothing and relaxing after the punishing work out that he had put himself through since the early hours. Taking a moment to let the water run off him he stood and contemplated how long and agonising the day was going to be before gathering his leather and heading back to Aramis. He dumped the leathers in a pile at the opposite end of the table and then sat across from Aramis and Evette, the former was munching on a piece of freshly baked bread and honey. He pushed a plate towards Athos. “Eat.” He ordered. 

Over the week Aramis had kept himself at a safe distance emotionally from Athos determine not to let the mans self destruction or self pity get under his skin and trick him into telling him that it would be alright because he knew that it wasn’t. Aramis looked up and watched at Athos ate the fresh bread and honey and viewed him with a critical eye. It was at least clear how much the man regretted what he had said and down to d’Artangan and clear that he wanted to repair it but Athos had the emotional range of a teaspoon and the same capacity for conversation. Once the man had eaten a second piece Aramis spoke. “Well, do you have a plan?” He asked bluntly. Athos looked up almost shocked that Aramis had spoken. Then shook his head. “No Plan, not really at least. I have an idea.” He said quietly after a moment. “I mean…I want to explain everything and apologise but that isn’t enough. I can’t just give him a gift and expect him to forgive me and actions speak louder than words. I have a lot of work a head of me in any case.” He said. Aramis nodded. “Well at least your being rational.” He decided. “Just remember that you inability to communicate got you into this and communication will help you.” He advised, it was the only advice he was going to give after all if he helped get Athos out of this then the man would just fall back into the old manor of action. It was time for some tough love. “Your right.” Athos mumbled before picking up some bread to eat again. Aramis rolled his eyes but decided not to speak.

Porthos and d’Artangan had been up since the dawn, Anu had brought back a large dear from her morning hunt and the pair had quiet enjoyed cooking it up and eating the hearty meal. They backed the rest of the cooked meat in a small clean, was lined pouch for the journey and left the carcus for the wild animals to get to. It had been just after 10am when they finally mounted up and carried on their journey back to Paris. d’Artangan had been quiet but as they rode on he got quieter and quieter. Porthos occasionally looked over but he could see that young man was just nervous and anxious. There was nothing that he could do about it other than crack the occasional joke and try to keep the mood as light as possible but as the afternoon trekked on even that became harder and harder. It was mid afternoon by the time that they finally saw that first glimpses of Paris on they sky line, it would be evening by the time that they got there. Porthos looked over at d’Artangan and was mildly surprised by the change that he saw happening. It seemed that the younger man was channeling the nervousness into resolve and determination, he was sat straighter in his saddle and even Anumpama seemed to be walking with a more determined gait. He smiled and nodded to himself pleased that d’Artangan hadn’t lost his resolve from yesterday. 

Athos has spent most of the day running drills, he would complete one set and then move directly into another. The proof that he wasn’t actually thinking about it was the absent look on his face and the seemingly repetitive and un-improving patterns. His mind was seemingly also doing drills but these were the repetitive replaying of a conversation, the conversation. The first conversation that he and d’Artangan would have when they met that evening. He tried to play out ever version that he could even imagine, some were entirely ridiculous and others to painful to think about. One had Porthos coming back to tell them he hadn’t managed to get to d’Artangan in time and that the boy had killed himself, that one hurt to much to think about. Aramis had convinced him to eat some food before he returned to the drills but had left him alone after that. The sky was starting to darken into dusk light now and he finally stopped. His arms hung at his sides feeling like he jelly, the sword falling from his fingers into the dust. He swallowed hard and looked up at the sky and for the first time in years actually prayed. He prayed for forgiveness from d’Artangan, for a second chance and the knowledge of how to fix his mistakes. He was pulled out of his prayer by Aramis coughing. “Are you going to greet them like that. Sweaty, unshaven and stinking.” He asked. Athos looked down at himself briefly. “Go wash and shave. Put on something decent and make yourself presentable.” He ordered the man before heading back to the entrance to the garrison with Evette to wait for their arrival. Athos trudged up the stairs and into the small set of rooms that were set aside for him. He used a large bucket of water to clean himself and washed his hair. He slicked his hair back with some scented oil, d’Artangans favourite. He shaved twice to be certain want make the best second first impression that he could. He had spent a good long while just grooming Bijou, ordering her feathers and setting them all straight. He had polished he beak and talons too, just to kill some time. He was about to head to down to wait with Aramis when he heard the hooves and the booming voice of Porthos calling Aramis name. He froze up and panic set in, this was it. He walked stiffly to the window and looking down was relived when he saw d’Artangan high on his horse and Aunmpama rolling around with Evette on the floor playing and greet. God he looked good, the man thought to himself.

d’Artangan created Aramis with the traditional hand shake before he was tugged into a warm embrace by the other musketeer. “It’s good to see you d’Art. Really good.” Aramis murmured sincerely to d’Artangan when they pulled apart. “And you brother, and you.” He was smiling widely to the man and looked down for a brief moment to see the way that their daemon played. He laughed merrily for a few moments before his face turned stern. “Where is he?” He asked almost not wanting to know. He was half expecting Aramis to say that he was in the tavern or that he had left. Aramis gestured his head to the stairs. “Washing and cleaning up. Spent all day running drill after drill. Punishing himself I think.” He added. d’Atangans tense shoulders relaxed. “Did he go to the tavern?” He asked after a moments hesitation. Aramis shook his head. “He did the first night but never after that. I think the hang over was more of a lesson and punishment than anything you or I could have lectured him about.” d’Artangan couldn’t help laughing at the image if a hung over Athos cursing wine. He was about to speak again when he heard foot steps behind him, ones he recognised. He stopped and turned face stoney. Athos stood before him, Bijou on his shoulder shifting from foot to foot. Anumpama came to stand next to her human, great body pressing into his. 

There was silence for a bit before Athos opened his mouth to speak. “d’Artangan-“ “Shut up!” d’Artangan cut the man off abruptly and squared his shoulders before speaking again. “Don’t move, don’t think, don’t speak. Just listen. I am going to talk and your going to listen to every word that I have to say. Do you understand? Just nod” Athos swallowed and nodded. “Good. I am not going to say that I forgive you for what you have done or said because I haven’t and I defiantly won’t lie to you just to make you feel better. You hurt me badly because of your apparent inability to have a simple conversation, a conversation with someone that you claim to be soul bound to.” He paused to take a breath. “Now, you could have every reason under the sun for what you did but none of them excuse it and I want you to know that. I get that Milady broke your heart and killed your brother but you will not punish me or take out your anger on me for what she did. I am not Milady.” He let that sink for a few moments. “I have tried so many way to get you to open up to me, I have tried waiting, asking, pleading even but every time YOU threw it back in my face. That will not happen any more, we will talk like adults. If your worried or scared about something that I am doing I want you to come to me. Not hide it away until all you can do is scream at me. Do that again and I will leave. With out question.” He paused and blinked at the man. “I do love you and I want to be with you but if you continue to take out your anger and insecurities on me I will not hang around for you to drag me down. I will stay with you now but we are going to start from the beginning. You are going to work for everything now do you understand, I will forgive you one day but I will never forget. I will be moving back to the garrison until further notice. I will not share a bed with your nor with I share my body until we have had a few long and in-depth conversation about trust and a few other things. This will not be easy on me know this and there is nothing I want more on this planet for everything to go back to the way that it was but it can’t that was toxic and dangerous to more than me and you. I want to work this out but I can’t do it on my own. You have to want it to.” He stopped then his speech of over and he suddenly felt very exhausted. He looked to Athos to see if the man had any reaction. 

Athos stood there mind reeling as he listened to the man that he loved. When it was clear that he finished he swallowed hard and tried to think of the best way that he could say what he felt. “d’Artangan, over the last week I have thought long and hard about what I want to say to you, sorry will never be enough but I want you to know this. I regret everything and although my regret is pointless for I intend to use it. To change the way that I am. I want to be a better man for you and for myself. When I am with you I feel better than I ever have in all my years and when I realised the hurt that I caused you that day a week ago I felt evil. I never want to do that to you again and I will work for your forgiveness any way that I can. Just please accept this truth, that I love you and I will change. I will learn and I will grown because I never want to be with out you.” None of that was planned, it had never even popped into his head but it was from his heart and it felt good to communicate with d’Artangan his actual feelings. He stepped forwards towards d’Artangan. He offered a hand to the younger man, palm up and open like a peace offering. d’Artangan looked at the hand and smiled a little taking it. “Thank you Athos, what you said then meant a lot. I could tell it came from the heart.” He held the mans hand for a few seconds more before dropping it. “I am exhausted from my ride. I will retire now for the evening. Aramis would you mind staying the night. I do not want to be alone.” Aramis nodded and followed his brother in arms up the stairs, Evette at his heals. Anumpama stayed there just long enough to give Athos and Bijou a warning. “Hurt him again after this and I will hunt you down. It took a lot of soul searching for him to come back here and give you this chance. He really did consider staying away.” She warned. Athos nodded. “I hurt him like that again and you won’t have to hunt me down. I’ll present my self to you.” He said quietly as Anu moved past him to follow her human. Porthos clapped Athos on the shoulder. “Good speech, from the heart. I like it. I am glad to see the two of you have a chance of reconciling.” He said leading Athos towards the gates of the garrison. “When I first found him on that evening I thought it was truly over between us. It is good to see that there is still hope.” He added as they entered Paris’ streets. “Hope Porthos, this is going to take more than hope. This is going to take work. Work that I will gladly undertake for him.” He spoke quietly and in his heart he made a promise to himself, d’Artangan and to God that he would repair the damage he had done and become a better man, and be a better lover to d’Artangan.


End file.
